Unexplained Infertility & Recurrent Loss: Amy’s Story [JOURNEY UPDATE]

January 14, 2019

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Today’s journey update is about a woman named Amy, who you might remember from Episode 137. When we last spoke, she was due for a lining check to begin her next frozen embryo transfer. Join us to hear the latest in Amy’s journey, handing the mic over to her husband, Brandon, first.

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What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Brandon joins us because Amy invited him to give his male perspective, to hopefully help someone else
  • Brandon is 41, and an attorney and former game show producer; he likes to play golf and basketball and hang out with Amy and their dog
  • Before infertility, Brandon was essentially the same person: even tempered and optimistic, and singularly focused on infertility
  • As a couple, they are amazing, and their relationship is what Brandon is most proud of; they are romantic together and love to travel
  • Parenthood was something Brandon never even let himself imagine, because he never felt financially secure enough or mature enough
  • Brandon wants people to know that infertility is terrible; “it’s a long, hard slog–and dads are on the outside”
  • Why some men are hesitant to talk about infertility like Brandon is today
  • What Brandon wants women to know about what men think about having kids and battling infertility
  • Brandon’s tips in supporting a wife through infertility: Be there, be supportive, and try to be optimistic
  • How Amy has supported him and been there for him, and they are determined to stay together through this journey
  • Amy shares how they’ve become advocates while still on the journey, and how she has taken a new job, lost weight, and weaned herself from almost all social media
  • Their IVF progress report: The first transfer was last June, with no pregnancy, and the second transfer followed in July–with still no pregnancy
  • Why Amy expected to become pregnant and miscarry—again, but she never expected to NOT become pregnant with the IVF cycles
  • Why they were kicked out of their shared risk program and how those really work; the good news is that they did get their money back
  • They have two mosaic embryos remaining, and there are conflicting opinions about the viability of mosaics today
  • Why they are pursuing adoption, and have strong feelings about the question, “Why don’t you just adopt?”
  • How they’ve finished their paperwork and home visit process and are just waiting for a call in the adoption process
  • How they love their agency, which does domestic adoptions in the tri-state (NJ) area
  • The awkward position of having to tell her new boss about the need for family leave soon if they are matched with a baby
  • The strange and isolating experience of being “ghosted” by other couples who have gone through infertility and then moved on

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Thanks for listening!

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