Tubal Factor Infertility & Endometriosis: Monica’s Story [SUCCESS]

May 11, 2020

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Today’s success story is about a woman named Monica. She is a 46-year-old stay-at-home mom who enjoys Salsa dancing. She and her husband tried to conceive on their own for a year and a half. However, because he already had a daughter, Monica knew something was wrong. After 4 Clomid cycles with her OB/GYN, she underwent testing with a reproductive endocrinologist. They learned both her tubes were blocked due to endometriosis and went straight to IVF. The first cycle was successful and gave them a daughter. Five years later when they were ready to try again, they returned to the same doctor. The first cycle was canceled, but the second one was successful. She was once again pregnant with a girl. Unfortunately, she was stillborn at 39 weeks. In her grief, Monica pushed forward quickly with another cycle and had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. At this point, her marriage was in crisis, but love ultimately won out. Join us to hear how Monica did one last IVF cycle and gave birth to another daughter.

Episode Sponsor:

Infertility Coaching with Heather Huhman

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Before infertility, Monica didn’t want to get married or have kids; she wanted to have fun and travel
  • How she met her husband online while she lived in Colombia and he was in the US
  • As a couple, they’ve had a lot of big bumps along the way, but remain best friends who are in love
  • How Monica fell in love with her husband’s daughter from a previous marriage and decided that she wanted to be a mother
  • How she took it for granted that having kids would be easy
  • After a few months of trying, Monica became anxious, so her doctor put her on Clomid–with no success
  • An HSG showed both of Monica’s tubes were blocked because of Stage 4 endometriosis; after a failed laparoscopy, IVF was the only remaining option
  • After her Ob-gyn referred Monica to a reproductive endocrinologist, the first IVF cycle resulted in her daughter, now 15 years old
  • How they found out later that they could have frozen eight very good embryos from this IVF cycle, but it was never mentioned to them
  • Three years later, it was time for another IVF cycle with the same doctor, but the wrong meds sent Monica into OHSS, and the cycle was canceled
  • With the third IVF cycle, Monica became pregnant when the lone female embryo survived while three males didn’t, but her daughter was stillborn at 39 weeks due to a blood clot in the umbilical cord
  • How Monica felt devastated and even suicidal, even though she received lots of support from family and friends
  •  How men and women grieve differently, which brought a very difficult crisis in their marriage
  • How Monica pushed her doctor for another IVF, became pregnant, but miscarried at seven weeks
  • How Monica’s marriage hit rock bottom as they contemplated divorce; focusing on their daughter, their family, and their marriage helped them put things back together
  • With the fifth IVF cycle, Monica got pregnant and became obsessed with the baby’s movements until their daughter was born
  • Why Monica felt “empty” after her stillbirth
  • Why Monica switched fertility clinics several times
  • Why she pushed hard for another IVF cycle soon after her daughter’s stillbirth
  • How Monica explained to her daughter, age 5, about the loss of her baby sister
  • Monica’s difficult diagnosis of tubal factor infertility and endometriosis
  • Why Monica has changed her eating habits–and those of her daughters
  • The biggest infertility challenge was the strain on her marriage
  • The victory of learning to be more aware and accepting of situations and choosing light over darkness
  • How Monica felt when she found out she would be a mother
  • How the financial aspect was a hardship, but her husband’s company was helpful, and their clinic was cooperative
  • Monica’s relationship with her family, most of whom are still in Colombia; her mom now lives with them in NY and helps out with the girls
  • Monica’s tips for advocating: “Learn to accept what you can’t control, work on your mindset, and count your blessings. Get outside, and do things that fulfill you.”
  • How infertility has changed Monica: “I’ve learned not to take things for granted.”
  • Monica’s advice to her past self: “Learn to balance emotions and reason, and learn to be patient.”

References:

Thanks for listening!

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