BONUS 224: Regaining Intimacy & Your Sexual Relationship

September 13, 2019

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Today’s bonus episode guest is Denise Wiesner, a certified sex coach and author of Conceiving with Love: A Whole-Body Approach to Creating Intimacy, Reigniting Passion, and Increasing Fertility.

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Denise and Heather discuss how to regain intimacy and sex in your relationship:

INTRODUCTION

  • I’d like to start by hearing a little bit about you. Tell us about your academic background and training.
  • Why did you choose to specialize in reproductive medicine-related field?
  • Take us through your career, including how you ended up in your own private practice.
  • Before we get into today’s topic, I’d love to hear the details about your journey to parenthood.

INTIMACY & SEX

  • Many people think intimacy means sex. What do you think is the difference? How can becoming more intimate with your partner lead to a more fulfilling sex life?
  • What do you see as some of the leading causes of sexual disconnection among partners?
  • How does trying to conceive lead to a sexual disconnect with your partner? Isn’t this a time when partners should feel more connected, not less?
  • What specific exercises do you recommend for partners looking to reconnect sexually?
  • In your book, you discuss nonverbal means of communicating with your partner, such as eye-gazing and sensual touch. Can you describe how these techniques can help increase intimacy and sexual connection?
  • Many people feel their personal sexual needs get pushed aside while trying to conceive in favor of expediency, and sex becomes a chore. What do you recommend?
  • In your book, you mention that not being comfortable with yourself can lead to intimacy issues with your partner, and that ultimately, your partner is not responsible for your health or happiness. What are some ways people can be intimate with themselves?
  • You really stress that it’s so important to be present. We tend to get into ruts where we’re just rushing to check things off a to-do list. Taking time to connect with a partner just falls by the wayside. What’s a simple thing someone can do today to increase intimacy with their partner?
  • How important are seduction and foreplay in connecting with your partner? Why?
  • A lot of men think about foreplay as something that happens in the minutes leading up to intercourse, but you stress that it’s something that should happen throughout the day. Can you explain what you mean by this?
  • People often refer to IUI or IVF treatments as sex killers since, during the process, you’re prohibited from having sex. How can couples retain their intimacy during these times?
  • The infertility journey is fraught with stress, which becomes much more acute when things feel like they’re going terribly wrong. You mention miscarriages and failed IVFs as times that can bring a couple together instead of tearing them apart. Can you share a few tips that might help a couple reconnect in a time like this?
  • Is there anything else you’d like to add?

THE BOOK

  • What compelled you to write this book?
  • Who is the ideal reader?
  • Other than what we’ve discussed today, what additional information can listeners find in your book?
  • Where can listeners purchase a copy of your book?

WRAPPING UP

  • What words of hope would you offer to someone who feels like they’ve lost the intimacy and sexual relationship with their partner?

References:

Thanks for listening!

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