BONUS 302: Healing After Loss

April 9, 2021

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Today’s bonus episode guests are Kim Hooper, Meredith Resnick, and Dr. Huong Diep, co-authors of All the Love.

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Kim, Meredith, Dr. Diep, and Heather discuss healing your heart and finding meaning after pregnancy loss:

INTRODUCTION

  • I’d like to start by hearing a little bit about you. Tell us about your academic background and training.
  • Why did you choose your career?
  • Take us through your career. (Note: All the previous positions you’ve held and exactly what you do now.)
  • Kim: I understand you went through loss yourself. Can you tell us your story? (Note: We’ll be discussing some specifics later, so take a look at those questions and make sure you’re not overlapping here!)

AFTER LOSS

  • Can you provide us a brief overview of the different types of loss? (chemical through stillbirth)
  • Loss happens under a variety of circumstances (unplanned pregnancy, infertility, etc.). Is the impact on individuals and couples the same or at least similar for each?
  • Take us through the medical aspect of pregnancy loss.
  • Let’s talk about what you’ll feel. Tell us a bit about each of these:
    • Shock and confusion
    • Guilt and shame
    • Loneliness and isolation
    • Anger
    • Betrayal
    • Sadness and despair
    • Anxiety and posttraumatic stress
  • How can you connect with:
    • The baby you lost?
    • Your partner?
    • Others?
  • Is it possible to return to “normal” life? If so, how?
  • How can you heal from pregnancy loss? How can you feel like yourself again?
  • The decision of whether to try again or not—with IVF or on your own—is often very fraught. What’s your advice for people who are unsure?
  • How does the trauma of loss impact future pregnancies?
  • Is it normal to still be sad after having a live birth?
  • Let’s talk about infertility, loss, and grief in society.
    • How do you think our society is limited when it comes to validating grief, especially as it relates to infertility and pregnancy loss?
    • What are some common things people say?
    • What should people say to someone who is dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss?
  • What’s your advice for women when it comes to dealing with triggers—others having baby showers, having healthy babies, etc.?
  • You believe there’s a need for policy changes—like leave time during infertility and loss. Can you talk a little about this?
  • LGBTQ+ couples often have unique considerations when it comes to infertility and loss. Can you talk a bit about this?
  • Is there anything else you’d like to add?

BOOK

  • What was the inspiration for the book?
  • How did you come to write this book together?
  • What were some of the surprising things you learned about infertility and pregnancy loss when writing this book?
  • What are different sources of help for depression and anxiety that’s common with infertility and loss?
  • Is there anything else you’d like to add?

WRAPPING UP

  • What words of hope would you offer to infertility warriors who have experienced a pregnancy loss?

References:

Thanks for listening!

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